Nunca trato de lastimar,
se que es mi naturaleza pero me niego...
O al menos lo intento,
lo intente, juro que lo intente,
Intente rechazar el torbellino de ideas y emociones que son tus ojos,
intente no perderme en el mar de sensaciones que es tu piel...

Tu me lo advertiste...
...yo te lo adverti.

Me dijiste que tus verdades eran mas crudas que tus mentiras, y que en el laberinto de tu mente me podia perder...
Y yo te lo dije, te dije que no habia piel mas filosa que la mia ni droga mas adictiva que mi ser...

No se si no nos creimos, no se si fue el reto el que nos emociono.
Pero se que los dos caimos en el vacio, en ese vacio del que no hay salvacion...
En ese limbo que es haber hayado a alguien que no tiene comparacion y aun asi saber que ese alguien es tu misma perdicion...

Nos lo dijimos, ¡Nos lo gritamos!
Nos lo advertimos fuerte y claro, y sin embargo aqui estamos hoy.
Contemplando ese abismo en el que caimos, buscando en los ojos del otro la salvacion...

Y tu me miras y me preguntas que le hize a tus alas, me gritas que yo tengo que tener la solucion... Y yo me pierdo en tus lagrimas...
¿Que acaso no lo entiendes? Yo soy la condena no la salvacion...
Yo soy esa flor que tiene mas veneno que un escorpion...

No queria, te lo juro que no fue mi intencion.
Yo solo queria estar cerca de tus ojos, no ser tu destruccion...
Amor mio cuanto lo siento, cuanto siento que mi piel te haya cortado tan profundo, cuanto siento ser tan maldita maldicion...

Pero asi eran las reglas del juego, y no hubo engaño entre nosotros dos.
Nos arriesgamos por una promesa, por la promesa de que como lo nuestro en toda la historia no habria comparacion.
Y lo logramos, ¡juntos lo logramos!,
logramos condenarnos al limbo sin cerrar los ojos y haciendo de lado la razon.

Demasiado corazon, demasiados sentimientos, demasiados genios, demasiada maldicion...
¿De quien es la culpa? o ¿De quien fue el error?
La unica moraleja es que si, si existe el que sea simplemente demasiado amor...
Por nosotros mismos, por los dos...

-Anak Alfaro-




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i could be what ever i wanted. a cat, a lamp, the sound of the thunder. anything. but i chose to be me.

bad choice at all. but the best i could make. life isnt always meant to be straight or even something good, sometimes life is a bunch of fucked up places and faces, bad timings and lame thoughts. i can see across all your lies, i can feel what you dont say to me, even when you hide it so well, i can see the writtings on the wall.

i feel so mad, for not being there in the right time, but as i said, i was not meant to be there, im just here recovering all the pieces of your disposable minds, becauese everyone of you are not well. thats the main reason why all of you like me, you see me battered, drowned, upside down, you see the part i want you to see but not everything at all, you cant never see me, you wont, i will be long gone when you just realized how i truly am. my true self, hidden even for me. pure rage, pure anger, pure hate, pure love, pure passion, pure soul. no remorse, just diferent faces, facades of mirrorlike meat, silvery slippery lies that reflect to your insides, not mine, you see what you want to see in you, i always told you that.

and you said you care for me... and those words vanished like tears of bloods in a bloody rain, a soul washed out in the open, with nothing more to offer, nothing more to say, nothing more to care... im just waiting for the rain to come and wash everything away, maybe it happend a long ago, maybe its happening so slowly im mistaking it for life.

a million suns rose and died before you came to me, and i have seen everyone of those, or i want to think of it, its just something hot going up and down, that is life, sex, lies, fights, something hot being cooled down. i have no reason to feel bad for you, but i cant stop to feel it. im so scared of losing all of you i will kill you first instead of waiting.

experience have tought you nothing, after all you are just like childs, and me a reader jost waiting for the shit to fall infront of me. i know it will happen and when it blows up in my face i just feel so void and empty... after all its like it is happening to me, your failures are mine by empathy. i knew it will happen, i just wanted that it happened to me.. it would never, i was prepared.

i hate you
and you love the way i look at you.

i just cant be full again.


xxx
ijya